Snippets
by bjames238
Summary: Day 4 of Snowbarry Week 2019 - free day. Happy Thanksgiving! Little something different today, posting two shorter snippets of a larger story I'm working on that sorta reworks the show as if Barry and Caitlin were love interests from the beginning. The first one here takes place after 4.18 & the second after 5.19.
1. All Hope Lost, Melted Away

A.N. This is a bit of a preview snippet of a multi chapter fic I've been working on for a while that pretty much rewrites the show as if Snowbarry were the main couple from the beginning. For the purposes of the theme week I've changed a few things around so when I finally (hopefully, eventually) get everything for the larger fic together and out and posted, some things in this particular section may or may not stay the same. For now it's just a cute little Snowbarry oneshot. Little bit of background, Caitlin gave birth to Ronnie's daughter (Keegan) before Barry even woke up from the coma in season 1. Very few people knew about Keegan for a long while, as Caitlin wanted to protect her and keep safe but eventually everyone found out. Barry and Caitlin have been together for awhile at this point. This little snippet takes place right after DaVoe "took away" Frost for awhile in the episode "Lose Yourself".

* * *

Caitlin paced the floor between her living room and kitchen, rocking and trying to soothe her crying daughter in her arms. "Sshhh, it's okay baby girl. Mommy's here. Mommy's got you."

Keegan kicked and screamed, pushing away from her mother. "No Mommy, I want Mumma!" She pulled and tugged at Caitlin's brunette locks as if doing so would change the hair to white.

Caitlin's heart dropped, a sob escaping her own lips. She stopped pacing and held Keegan closer, closing her eyes to will the tears away. The bruises from her impact with the wall earlier that night when DeVoe hurled her across the room ached as Keegan's tantrum grew stronger. And the emptiness she'd felt ever since wreaked havoc on her soul. Killer Frost was gone, and at this point there didn't seem any hope of getting her back.

"Mumma, I want Mumma!" Keegan screamed, tugging Caitlin's hair harder.

Caitlin winced, hugging Kenna tighter. "I'm so sorry, baby girl, but I can't. Mumma's lost, I don't know how to get her back."

Keegan stopped kicking and crying for a moment, just staring deep into her mother's eyes. She let go of the dark hair and buried her face in Caitlin's shoulder, the fresh tears soaking into the fabric. "Mumma! Mumma!"

Caitlin rubbed her daughter's back, her own tears falling down her face as they mourned Frost together. Keegan continued to bawl, her voice getting lower and louder. "I know, Mommy's sad too. I wish I could let her out for you, I really do." There was an anxious knock at the door she barely heard over Keegan crying, and a familiar voice.

"Cait!?"

Caitlin sniffled, going over to the door to unlock and open it. She burst into tears again at the sight of the person on the other side of the door, leaning into him.

"Cait, sweetie, what's wrong?" Barry wrapped his arms around both of them, kissing the top of her head and he gently took Keegan from her. Keegan, still crying, barely noticed.

Caitlin wrapped her arms around herself, sniffling again. "I can't get her to calm down, I don't know what to do. I can't give her what she wants."

"What does she want?" Barry rocked the toddler.

"She wants . . . her." Caitlin's voice squeaked.

"Mumma!" Keegan wailed again, pushing away from Barry now.

"Oh Cait . . ." Barry wrapped his arm around her again.

"What am I going to do, Barry? What if I'm not enough? What if Keegan blames me for losing Frost?" Caitlin cried.

"H-hey, hey now. We'll figure this out, we always do."

"First she lost Ronnie, and now Frost. All because of me." Caitlin cried. "I'm a horrible mother! What if we never get Frost back?"

"Please don't think that. You are the best mother I know, and I know that Keegan loves you so much." Barry told her.

"Barry, I want Mumma - where's Mumma?" Keegan looked up at Barry with teary eyes.

"I'm really sorry, baby girl, but Mumma had to go away for a little while. She didn't want to, and I know that she would be here with you right now if she could. We all hope she comes back soon but we just don't know yet if she can." Barry rubbed Keegan's back, his eyes on Caitlin. Keegan's tears increased anew and she burrowed her face in Barry's shoulder. "She'll cry herself to sleep eventually." He leaned over to kiss Caitlin, wrapping his free arm around her.

_~fin~_


	2. Can We Just Be Us?

A.N. Day 4 of Snowbarry Week 2019 - free day. This is a bit of a preview snippet of a multi chapter fic I've been working on for a while that pretty much rewrites the show as if Snowbarry were the main couple in focus. For the purposes of the theme week I've changed a few things around so when I finally (hopefully, eventually) get everything for the larger fic together and out and posted, some things in this particular section may or may not stay the same. For now it's just a cute little Snowbarry oneshot. Little bit of background, Caitlin gave birth to Ronnie's daughter (Keegan) before Barry even woke up from the coma in season 1. Very few people knew about Keegan for a long while, as Caitlin wanted to protect her and keep safe but eventually everyone found out. Barry and Caitlin have been married for awhile at this point and the Nora that came back to the past from the future is their daughter. This snippet takes place in season 5 after the episode "Snow Pack".

* * *

Caitlin unlocked the door to her apartment, smiling contently. Drinks with her mother had been surprisingly pleasant - enjoyable even. They celebrated the memory of the man they both just lost again - both of them knowing he was at peace now after his sacrifice. They reminisced about the past (the good parts), brainstormed scientific ideas together, and both of them gushed over the thousands of photos of Keegan on Caitlin's phone. They talked about Killer Frost and Carla wanted to talk to her, but Caitlin's other half was quiet and wouldn't come out. Caitlin promised next time she'd get Frost to come out. And Caitlin told her mother about Nora and the future. . . Caitlin couldn't have asked for a better night despite the heavy loss.

. . . and then she saw Barry's shoes and jacket beside the couch, his keys on the coffee table, and Keegan's snowsuit on the couch with her little boots scattered on the floor below. Her heart sank, their fight earlier weighing heavily on her. Nora's screams from within the pipeline prison echoed in her ears and her hand dropped to her her stomach mourning the loss of the child she hadn't even given birth to yet.

She was still furious with her husband for taking their daughter back without consulting her or even letting her say goodbye, but talking to her mom helped her see that he was just trying to do what he thought was best - even if she didn't necessarily agree with it. And in the end he was still her husband, and they would work through this the way they've done everything else.

She picked up Barry's coat and Keegan's snowsuit and hung them up with her own coat on the rack by the door. She grabbed Barry's shoes and Keegan's boots and put them on the rug under their coats, slipping off her own shoes.

As she padded down the hallway and around the corner, a warm smile tugged at her lips at the sight of her husband in the doorway. He stood just outside the open door, leaning against the frame with his back to her. From within the room in front of him, she could hear the faint sounds of the twinkle, twinkle, little star lullaby.

Quietly she walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his stomach, leaning her cheek against his back. He startled for a second but then took hold of her hands, bringing them up to his lips.

"Hey you." His voice was low but soft, and he turned to face her with a sad smile still holding her hands. "Did you have a good time with your mom?"

She nodded. "I did. We talked about a lot, made plans for her to meet Keegan soon."

"That's great, babe." He kissed her hands again.

She peaked in the dark room, the rainbow lights from the nightlights barely illuminating the room. "Keegan asleep?"

"Yeah. She was already tired when I picked her up in Keystone, fell asleep in the car." Barry told her, chuckling. "Getting her snowsuit off was interesting, she wasn't exactly cooperative."

"Thanks for picking her up so I could go with my mom." She said nervously, feeling the tension still in the air between them.

"Of course," He nodded, pulling her in for a hug. "How are you doing with everything? Frost and your dad . . . Nora . . ."

Caitlin let out a heavy breath, leaning into him. "Honestly . . . I'm not quite sure it's all caught up to me yet. I'd already mourned my dad - but I had such hope he could be around now for Keegan and maybe even any future children someday. . . but he's gone again. And it hurts, but somehow not as much as I thought it would. And Frost won't come out - she's quiet and sulking in there and I'm not sure why. She wouldn't even talk to mom. And Nora . . ." She sniffled, her voice cracking.

"Yeah I haven't been able to stop thinking about it all day." He rested his chin on the top of her head. "I hate that I hurt and betrayed you, even if I thought it was right. I should have talked to you about it first. Family doesn't leave family, no matter what."

"It does hurt, so much." She closed her eyes, burying her face in his chest. "I'm not sure I can forgive you yet but I'm so tired of fighting. Can we just be us?"

"I haven't even forgiven myself yet, but I am all for just being us again." He kissed her forehead, hugging her tighter. "I don't know how yet, but we're going to fix all this, I swear. We'll figure out this co-parent thing together, so by the time we have any other kids we'll be pro's."

_I swear to god, Caity, somehow your husband just gets sappier and sappier. I'm gonna hurl, seriously._

Caitlin laughed out loud, feeling relief flood through her. She opened her eyes to find Barry staring at her curiously. "It was Frost - in my head." He raised an eyebrow. "She's teasing you for being such a sap, but it's okay. It's a relief to be able to feel her in there again. She's been quiet since everything with dad and Cicada 2 earlier."

He chuckled, "Um . . . I'm glad you two are bonding over something at least I guess. Hey, Frost."

_Yeah, yeah . . . he's just lucky I wasn't around for that stupid shit stunt he pulled with Nora._

Caitlin scrunched her face. "Ah, yeah I'm not telling him that. He knows he made a mistake and we're working on it."

Barry sighed, dropping his head. "She's not happy about Nora either. Not that I blame her - I took away her goodbye too."

Caitlin bit her bottom lip. "Yeah she's really not. Something must really be bothering her though, if she hasn't come out already and told you herself." Caitlin waited for Frost to say something but her other half was quiet again. "And she's not talking to me again. Hmm."

"Give her some time, she'll come around. She's processing all of this now too. Shall we go to bed, Dr. Snow-Allen?" He smirked as they walked down the hall.

She sniffled again, tears leaking down her face. "Can you just hold me for a while? My heart is so heavy right now, I can barely breathe."

He frowned at the sight of her tears, leading her into their bedroom. "I would be more than happy to oblige."

_~fin~_

A.N. It will likely be a while before I post the actual story these snippets are from, but if anyone has any questions/comments let me know. 🙂 Also sort of debating taking on a helper/partner for the longer fic but I'm not sure yet.


End file.
